Hmm.. It's a really unusual day today. I think it's been a long time since I experienced such weather. You see, it has been raining non stop since last night. Now it's already 2pm in the afternoon. It's like the sky is experiencing some incontinence problem. It rains, then stops for a short while and rains again and the cycle repeats itself.

Somehow. It does describe quite accurately what my life is all about now. I'm sad. Then happy for a short while. Then sad again. And the cycle repeats itself. Strange huh? GOd knows me so well that he made the weather this way too.

It's been raining so much that I can barely see what's outside my window. The window pane is covered in raindrops. It's like there's a shield that blurs my vision. And i need a window wiper to clean all the raindrops away so that I can see clear and far ahead....

Perhaps, the only good thing of such weather is that it is really cooling..so much so that it cools down your soul too..

Anyway, I think mum's going to kill me when I get home. She will be so disappointed that I managed to uncover the christmas cake that she carelessly hid behind the chair. Too bad. It's gone now. I so don't want to stay in this place anymore. It seems more like hell for me. I don't seem to know my parents anymore.They are like strangers to me now. No. They were strangers to me a long time ago. Since the day I started growing up faster. No more nice moments with mummy. When she combed and tied my hair and sang songs to me as she did so. As for daddy, it's sad to say that I cannot really think of anytime which I ever spent with him. All I can remember is that one incident when he was so fierce to me that I guarantee you, I almost wetted my pants.

Sometimes, I wonder i they still love me. I wonder if they have started to take me for granted. They avoid me like a plague. At least it's true for mum. She always walks past me as I am sitting in the hall watching television, and gives sideway glances to the area around me. You see. It is not me that she is concered about. It is the neatness of the house that concerns her. Those sideways glances serve as checks on whether I have messed up the place.

When will my life become normal? I feel like an invalid at home. Like a burden to the whole house. I tried to move out to stay. But I realise that that cannot be the long term solution. God. where are you.