The thin line between being busy and free

Hmm..I think I just discovered the reason behind all the sadness in my past posts. I guess when I have more time in my hands than I can handle, and especially if those times are being spent aimlessly at home, I would start to get myself swimming in a pool of 'depression' or 'melancholy'. It's like I'm transformed into this pathetic, self-pitying character from a tragedy overnight. Okay. There should be a name for this. Let's call it the 'Idle Depression Syndrome', which is seasonal. You see, I only suffer from it during the holidays, or mostly when I have lots of free time. Recently, training has resumed and my mood has improved, or so I hope.

I am still eating quite a lot but then I don't feel that sad these days though I do feel a tinge of regret after I finish the butter cookies followed by four chocolate finger sticks(!) I need to occupy my mind and not keep thinking about what I just ate, dwell on it and allow the feelings of guilt to creep in. So that's one reason why I am blogging right now. Ok. To be honest, that's the WHOLE reason why I am blogging now. So I guess the cure to the illness of mine is..to occupy my mind with meaningful activities. I guess I just need to fill up my life with good stuff. Ok. though I cannot really define what I mean by good stuff. But the ideal definition should include reading inspirational self-improvement books, engaging in sports, trekking a new mountain, doing some meaningful work for the community and more. I believe that there are so many things that I could do if I wanted to..or rather..dared to.

Life in today's world is becoming so busy that being busy has become a rule to live by for many. So, we have a new superhero--Mr. Busybee. It's like, life is simply not complete for these Busybees if they have the time to sit down and have a cuppa and just admire the scenery. No. Instead, you would expect them to be going through their to-do list in their PDAs and checking their phones for messages while gulping down their coffee. They might not even notice if there was a beautiful scenery of the sun setting just outside the window. So their lives just revolve around making themselves busy. Life will not be normal if they had nothing to do at all. They might even feel guilty for having too much time on their hands. Ironically, they will complain about being busy. Yet when offered free time, the typical busybee will rather choose to be busy ultimately.

I must admit that I have a little mr. busybee inside of me that works part-time and serves to save me when I am lagging on my schoolwork. In fact, I believe everyone living in this highly competitive, fast-moving world also has a Busybee in them. BUT! We must be careful not to let it manipulate us and rob us of our faith, our family or even time spent with our ownselves. Sometimes, we get too carried away and we cease to pursue the more significant things in life.

Then again, being too free may not be a good idea as it may cause us to lose our sense of direction and purpose. It's like after my exams, all so suddenly, i do not have anything to work hard for and I just feel 'useless' for the moment. And I believe that's how we have the 'idle depression syndrome' and perhaps many more psychological and physical problems which i have not experienced and definitely do not want to.

Such is the thin line between being busy and having lots of free time.

So, I guess I will end with this tiny piece of advice ( which is seen on food packages of food which are deemed healthy by the health promotion board):

'Eat all food in MODERATION'.

Key word, 'moderation', so that your life will be balanced.

I do not want to turn into a full-time Mr. Busybee or suffr from chronic 'idle depression syndrome'. Instead, I'll strive towards finding leisure in hectic work schedules and meaningful work in my free time. ;P