Finding it difficult to 'choose life'

I am beginning to think that I too need to see a shrink. It's only the second day since school reopened and I am already feeling tonnes and loads of stress. Diagnostic tests from Maths and Bio, unfinished holiday homework, unrevised year one stuff, PDP exhibition stuff and OAC. Somebody shake me. Am I really a year two? I really wonder how I managed to even make it past Year One. HElp. I'm not ready. THings are just happening faster than I can manage.Or is it I that is lagging? What is my problem? Why do I always feel the same sickening feeling of dread and hopelessness and regret; all of which I could have avoided had I worked harder, done things earlier and pushed myself. But the fact is: I didn't. Regrets. That's the worst thing that one would ever have to experience as said by one of the teachers yesterday. I just feel that I would want to go back and be a year one again. Perhaps, I would choose to re-take my year one if I had the choice. I guess my being able to be promoted to year two was only by GOd's grace. And I do mean it. Somehow, I really do wish to have more time to settle down. Sometimess, I just wish that I was never in OAC from the very beginning. Why was I so ambitious? What made me think that I could emerge from the tiny little nutshell that I had been living in for ten years to be someone that I obviously couldn't be. What was I thinking?! It's funny how sometimes men can get too complacent and over-confident of themselves. But how? How did I land myself in such a situation? That within a few months, my mentality went from "everything is possible for me" to "LOSER me". It's so darn Pathetic. I didn't want to use this word. But, it describes me right now. Pathetic. I just want to cut myself out from the entire world. but i can't. I dared to venture, and now I dare not take up the responsibilities. I overestimated myself I presume. I fear. Fear so much to take on this new year. This very important year. But why is it that I feel like I'm not ready? I feel much like the living dead. I'm just in school, for the sake of having to complete whatever business I have. After all is done, and school's over, I become aimless and dwindle back to my depressed mode. Who am I? What am I doing? Where lies my destiny? I admit it. I have fallen down. I'm trying to pick myself up. but each time I try, I fall again. I need help. Now. Or else, I may never get up again. And cease to ever see the world again.