Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Many thoughts today......

My second consecutive entry for the day. i think I've been quite childish, overly sensitive and rash over the past year. I said things that hurt, angered and disturbed to several people. SOmetimes , I myself can't really decipher the things I say. Perhaps I sink too deeply in my thouhgts that I care not for what others feel.

Photos bring back the best memories, yet, they are only a painful reminder of a lost happiness. Well, I think I'm quite an easily jealous person too. NOw I must try to change that. Bah. I shouldn't let whatever happens to others to bother me too much I guess. It ain't my business anyway. It's their life. And THIS, is MY life.

Right now, I'm trying to learn how to lead a meaningful life. OK, maybe I'm only in the thinking process now. I will try to dream less and do more.

Ya know, sometimes you just feel so much like wanting to talk to someone about all your problems, but then, you search your phonebook and realise that there's actually no one whom you would really want to share such problems with. That you'll rather keep it to yourself. So it's bottled inside you and gradually piles up until you just explode. In the meantime, you just have to act like nothing happened the next day. Well, I've been trying to live like that for most of the time. At least, less people are being hurt. one casualty is always better than two. I don't wish to share with the people who love me. Coz it's either they will never understand or I just can't bear to see them feel sad becoz of me. Really am grateful to one who has always stood by me though. I know that she has been quite irritated with me coz of my pessimistic outlook on life since last JUNe.

What will 2005 hold for me? Will I emerge as a "WINNER" eventually? I guess, I really have to put my trust and hope in GOD. May God bless the world.

"Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with ME."

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