i seek to find
the meaning in life.
peace of mind.
time, more time.

to straighten things out.
untangle the mess;
to piece the broken pieces,
not leaving one more or less.
the picture has to be complete.

the senseless sparring,
of words and more;
they aim only for the heart,
piercing it;
and making it sore.

i question my existence,
why am i here?
since i see no point,
in all that I do?
No one sees.
No one hears.
No one,
understands.

my future is in my hands.
it seems like it's dissolving,
slowly,
fading away.
I have so much that I want to do.
The aspirations and dreams,
oh how they cloud my mind.
And lead me into self-disillusionment.

i choose to believe that I am a normal kid.
even though there are many things
which are so very wrong;
I can't figure out if I'm really deceiving myself,
cos' living life the other way,
would probably drive me to my grave,
straightaway.

Alas,
I render myself a victim;
Of the world's cares.
Acceptance, beauty, competitiveness, achievement;
Yet there's this tiny part of me;
deep inside,
that is putting up a silent resistance.
"No! No! No!"

I'm past fighting.
I'm past worrying.
I'm past frowning.
I'm past waiting.

The day will never come.
When I wake up every morn,
and can actually feel that;
life is simply great.