Leave me alone. Can't u see " Rebellion" on my face?

I don't want to be here telling the same old tale and complaining about the same old..."defeacation". I have had enough! I am at the edge! I;m about to..explode at any point in time! To put it straight- I am not trusted to do things. Ok. I understand that I have shown irresponsibility on two occasions, but that does not mean that I am all that irresponsible right? In everything I do, I always give off my best, yet the best is still not yet enough, not yet attainable.

This world is so unfair. Why is it that all the baddies get their way somehow or the other while the good are, always at the losing end? At least for me. I don't know why, but sometimes, I just feel like acting like I don't know all of them. This rebellion or some sort, just makes me feel good. It feels like some sort of victory, some achievement of long-lost freedom. I know the consequences- I will receive the exact same treatment back ultimately.Yet who in this big world understands? I long for simplicity, yet my life seems complex in my own hands.In there, I am but nothing. I just don't feel for it anymore. All those positive vibes of energy and enthusiasm...I've tried many times to revive it, and just when it all seems like it's going to rekindle, it dies out again. Extinguished as abruptly as it was lightened. Perhaps, this candle of mine will never burn again in this little corner of my life. This little corner doesn't nedd me anymore. This little corner used to be a big room. This little fire of mine, used to brighten the entire place..I felt so alive then!

I am in a dilemma. quitting may either make my life more complicated or simplified. Assuming the latter, I will feel more freedom, happier and myself. But what if the effect is the former? I have somehow got to be practical right? The former means down with reputation, down with CCA..how am I gonna survive till the U? SICK! FrUSTrATED! My life is simple until it comes to facing the dread of the little corner-OAC.

Can you imagine the humiliation? I mean. U are the QM. And for some big event like the March EXPi, the logistics i/c is somebody else? The whole feeling only sank in when someone asked me something abt the logi, and I was like, " Oh, I don't know, ask XX". SHIT.

And what's the problem with the world TODAY? Can we please save some Public Display of Affection around here? Ok, I can't stand it. YEAH. So? Got a probleM?

GreaT. I just contradicted my first intention ( read the first sentence):~/