I'm finding it hard to blog these days. Somehow, I just don't seem to have the flow of words. I mean, I have many ideas up there, but i just can't decided which are worthy of noting down.

Well, today I went over to min's place to watch akeelah and the bee all over again! haha. Well I guess watching it twice is just right. I didn't quite catch much of the conversations the first time round. So watching it a second round was a wise decision. After the show, min and I went to MacS to chill out. Haha. We had another great chat. It seems that these days, the topic on BGR seems to pop up frequently in our chats. It's amazing to see that our dear min is getting concerned about her future too. She keeps saying that she want's to have children and be a bridesmaid. I think she will never get to be one. Because she will be a bride before she can even get to be a bride's maid. Ok. thats just my prediction.

After listening to min talk about how she was inspired by this book called 'The new spirit controlled woman'( well, she said that she wanted to be 'sanguine' as opposed to 'melancholic'), I think that I need some 'makeover' in my life too. I mean, I seriously need to shed away the old skin and allow the new to grow. I shouldn't be stuck in my old thoughts and actions anymore. I'm a 'melancholic' person too. The dictionary defines the word as : feeling or tending to feel very sad, often because you are mentally ill. So i guess, i definitely do not want to be known as a mentally ill person! I really hope to become a stronger person. Not physically ( I think I have enough muscles..haha..okok..i know, punch me if you will), but seriously, I hope to be stronger mentally. It's ironic that Somehow, I'm able to have the perseverance to run a half marathon, but when it come's to running the race of life, it's a totally different race altogether. The perseverance doesn't seem to be able to come so easily.

YES! I want to be sanguine too! I want to be confident when speaking. esp when sharing about my faith. I want to know what I am doing. what is God's purpose for me. I want to be positive and happy. I don't want to be sad anymore. I don't want to feel like I let myself down anymore. I don't want to feel lousy no more. God made me in His own image. I want to wake up every morning and be able to look at myself in the mirror and say: " I am fearfully and wonderfully made by Daddy in heaven! God loves me just the way I am! And I love myself just as i am too!"

I hope that day will come soon.