I can't find the right words to describe how I feel right now. Just received an email from one of the DB gals saying that she was going to quit. Somehow, it reminded me of my own waning passion for the sport. Somehow, I find myself a living irony. How is it that I could be so enthusiatic about something and lose that enthusiasm and passion after just a short stint? I mean. I'm just searching for my identity. In truth, do I really enjoy what I'm doing? Do I really value being in a school team so much? Why did I participate in the first place? Am I making too many costly sacrifices? Am I allowing myself to be consumed by it or 'roboti-fied' by it? Sometimes I just feel like a zombie when I go for trainings. It's just as pastor says it: "same-old-same-old".