I know that whatever problems that I have been harping about can be solved. Nothing is impossible because I have an all powerful God who can help me out. I have been too foolish. Allowing such a silly habit of mine to get in the way of my behaviour, thoughts and relationships with others. I have allowed this bad behaviour to eat into me and at the same time, feed my jealousy. Oh come on. Since when did God make food to be sin. Perhaps, it is indeed true that all things should be done in moderation. Too much honey will make one feel like puking up. Too much of a good thing is bad. I was kind of jolted back to the reality of things by dear Grace today. Amidst my preoccupation with my idea of a perfect me( read: no bad eating habits, slim and having a close relationship with God), I have lost myself. Guess God wouldn't be too happy with me either. Being Jealous to the extent that I stumble others. I wouldn't say that I have been childish though, but rather, I think I have been too 'individualistic', a term taken from one of the debriet sessions during training. Individualistic and narrow minded, I am my own cage, my own barrier, my own obstacle. I realise that God has made all of us to be much more than we imagine we can be.We'll never be able to grow if we keep locking ourselves up in the tiny little corner of the cage. We'll never be able to change for the better if we refuse to bravely MAKE THE CHANGE and BE THE CHANGE.

It was kindda stark for the sermon today to touch on a food related topic. That of being constantly 'hungry and thirsty' for God and for the importance of fasting, abstaining from physical food. Indeed, to me, I think fasting would be quite a huge task because, I really do love my food. I guess, being in a country where food is easily available at almost every corner is both a blessing and a bane. Yes Yes Yes, there is the variety and convenience, but at the same time, you are faced with temptations EVERYWHERE! To spend uncessarily on extra nutrition, or rather, calories and fats, which you would otherwise not think of adding on if not for that bubble tea stall conveniently located just outside the MRT station or the Jollibean stall located just across the street. Perhaps, I should just start of a fast of my in between snacks. This way I would be killing two birds with one stone by saving on both calories and money! heh heh...Then ,maybe, I will just give myself the honey red tea or Jollibean red bean 80 cents pancake just once a week, now that sounds fair enough;)